Heartbroken.......

I'm really tired u_u

I always feel like the third wheel, like I'm in the way...and that I'm just bugging everybody.

Lately I always "joke" that nobody loves me...I know that's not true! I'm loved it just that...I know I'm loved 'cause we've been friends a long time but I'm not really a significant part of therir lifes, I mean...they don't depend on me, I'm not indispensable...it sounds awfully stupid but I depend on them so much...and the ARE extremly indispensable in my life, I need them u_u

I'm kinda used to feeling like this, I'm ignored most of the time, they know me...but not completly 'cause their never really interested about my life or my tastes or what I do....it's nothing new.

But lately....it's been getting really really hurtful. It's like a put up with it for so long that I can't take it anymore. I'm tired of feeling uncomfortable, or that I need to draw stupid attention to myself just to remind them I'm there....Today was the last straw, it was a special day, I really wanted to be with them, but I was ignored all day until they finally got bored with my annoyence and told me "We're not doing anything", I felt....really bad. I knew they were having fun u_u they were all together and they didn't want me there.

I really want to tell them how they make me feel, 'cause sometthing in me says it's not on purpose, that is unconscious and that's even worse....it means that they don't really mean to ignore me or make me feel unwanted...it just happens 'cause that's just me u_u

I really want to feel wanted u_u I know it's childish but for once I want to feel that I'm needed somewhere to make things fun =/

I guess I just don't click anymore, we changed and I didn't notice, and I became the friend that doesn't need to be there, but...it is anyway just to not make her feel bad.

I'm soooo tired, that I decided I'm not going to suck up to them. If they want me somewhere, they'll tell me if not then I'm not wanted there.

I never knew if I wanted to live in Korea or Japan, but....Korea, yes Korea it is. I need to be away. Maybe even someplace else, with new pwople and new things! >_<

I miss Jole, and Sofi....they always make me feel happy, and excited. I never feel like I'm a bother.

I miss my old friends, and I miss feeling that they want me in their life u_u , I just hope that someday they'll see everything and...maybe MAYBE make me feel like they do love me.

I feel like an idiot, like a child, stupid...so stupid u_u

Inspired~~

Hace unos meses vi una pelicula llamada "Elvis And Annabelle"

Decidi volverla a ver hace unos dias, estaba aburrida y con ganas de evr una movie linda

La pelicula....me inspiro? Por decirlo asi, la trama de la movie es diferente a la tipica historia de amor! Asi que decidi escribir una historia U_U

Soy muy nueva en esto de escribir! Aun cometo muchos errores y bueh... novata al fin y al cabo =/

A pesar de que la historia estara fuertemente basada en la pelicuala, aun le pondre mi propio sello! No quiero ser una copiona ¬¬

El trailer:

I'M A WINNER!

GANAMOS! GANAMOS!!!!!

OMFG!! *o*

Fuimos el ultimo grupo! de 5!! Y estabamos realmente nerviosas y emocionadas!

Todo el dia de ayer fue una odisea! Desde las 7 am hasta las 8 pm que termino todo! xDD
(Tecnicamente despues hubo "party" at my house!)

Pero puedo decir con orgullo que gane un concurso de baile *o*

Me siento muy orgullosa de haber participado! De ser fan de DBSK y ser parte del foro!

Gracias a todos! Y gracias a mis compañeras, las amo con mi arma!! <3

Tomorrow!!

OMG!! >_<

The Big Day!!

You see....me and my friends have been working on a coreography together, it's Tohoshinki's Purple line!

It's really cool and awesome *o*
We've been practicing for like a month now and it's been really hard!
We've put everything of us into the dance for a competition, this contest is tomorrow! TOMORROW! I can't belive it!! D:

So soon! >_<

I belive in us! And that we're really good!! I belive in tohoshinki too! <3

Smile~

I been felling worried today...There are so many things I want to achive
But sometimes it feels impossible and stupid >_>

I know it sounds cliché and sooo...bratty? I'm a lucky person, I've never had to go through a real struggle, I've never had to really work for anything and I know I sound whiny and stupid but I can't help it...

Even though I feel like there's no point on fighting anymore...Just to think, imagine what my life could be if I achieve those stupid things make me the happiest I've been in a while

I won't care about my fears I won't care about other people and their mean words...I'm going to keep trying and trying until I finally get what I want!

It won't matter if I'm 80 or 20, I'll be the person I want to be.

That's all I wanted to say u_u

This helped me a lot....It filled my heart with a warm relieving feeling *-*

The Lastest!

Y been thinking...

Amo muchas cosas en general <3>(Lo unico que no es asi es DBSK, que por ellos dejo todo a un lado!)
Mi current obsession...(no Changmin, el es mucho mas que eso)

Es....Nichkhun Horvejkul

Oh how pretty you are (8) *o* He's just too cute!!


You....Adorable piece of apple pie *o*


Aunque ame el video...los teasers para heartbeat son EPIC

Excited! *o*

Soy una empresaria B)

(Not really) Aunque....bueno un poco? D:

La cosa es que ayer fuii a un bazar a vender...y aunque fue una shit y perdida de tiempo...

Me compre esto:



UN GORRITO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *o*

Amo los gorros! <3>

Mi amiga Gaby despes me dijo que tiene los mismos colores que uso en mi nick del MSN y es la verdad!! xDD

Soy 40 BsF mas pobre...pero happy!!
I love Hambarga!!!!!!!!!!!

O_O!!

Helloo!! D:

Como lleguee aqui?? Well...I was bored.

Hablo siempre en un weird spanglish...mas que todo porq siempre pienso en spanglish xDD

Creo que deberia presentarme...

Me llamo Mariana! ^^ Uso blogger porque creanlo o no...entendi como usarlo mas rapido que
el livejournal, y eso que tengo milenios leyendo en journal xD Pero es muuy weird ._.

Tengo 19 años...estudio o estudiaba medicina?? Eso esta en proceso asi que digamos que como muchos mi mente confundida hizo que me metiera en donde no debia =/

Amo la musica y el cine....Siempre fui una chica muy pegada a lo britanico hasta que llego Dong Bang Shin Ki a mi vida...sigo fielmente amando the UK pero Korea...esta en el tope de mi lista por siempre <3>

Amo el rosado, el fucsia y las panquecas <3>

No creo que sea muy interesante...pero igualito escribire aqui xD Lo que sea...hasta mis intentos fallidos de escribir historias and my randomness :D

Sooo It's nice too meet you all!
(Se que no hay nadie...pero espero que alguien algun dia se meta xDD)

See ya ^_^

P.D. Fucking blogger puso esto <3>
en donde se suponia iba un corazon....Buuu a blogger